191188

Joke of the Day

"When interviewer asks to describe yourself > Interviewer1: Describe yourself > Interviewee: HIRED > Interviewer2: [Whispers] Holy shit can she do that?"

"Steve would be a terrible name for a pegasus."

"Why do nuns never wear a bra? God supports everything."

"What's the maximum velocity while having sex? 68, cause at 69 you flip over"

"Yahoo news reports that Johnny Manziel was forced to sit in the middle seat of an airliner. I guess they should have let him fly the plane."

"Don't listen to anything your ex boyfriend says. He is always wrong. Unless he says you're spectacular and give good head, then, he is right"

"At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds.... ...Only 15 pounds to go!"

"I saw a crazy squirrel today.. He was fucking nuts."

"The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation."

"I learned what 'bukake' was last week... ...and boy, was my face white!"