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Joke of the Day

"this toddler on the bus said ""the wheels on the bus go round & round"" & this guy yelled back ""no shit Sherlock"" & I can't stop clapping?"

"What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally? At a religious revival, they say ""STAND UP FOR JESUS"" At a bikers rally, they say ""SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"""

"Why did Mike Dukakis lose the 1998 Presidential election? He TANKED his campaign!"

"My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works."

"There are only 3 types of people that I hate. Racists, hypocrites and niggers."

"What did David Bowie want for Christmas? Carrie Fisher."

"Have you heard the best dad joke? He was the groom's father. Not part of the joke: Yes I made that up in the shower this morning."

"*reads your mind* *decides to wait for the movie*"

"Q: When is a farmer like a magician? A: When he turns his cow to pasture."

"I walked a girl down into the dark woods. She said it's very scary. I said how do you think i feel i have to walk back alone.."