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Joke of the Day

"You know your old when you come close to shaving your nipple off while trying to shave your legs!"

"Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution? He was following the Tsar."

"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."

"What sort of activity is eagle hunting classified as these days? ILLEAGLE activity."

"I can only say nine English words. Well, shit."

"A pilots plane is shot down When he parachutes out, he is taken to a pow camp. He is later asked ""What did you have on the wings of your plane?"" ""Holes mostly..."""

"A drummer with no feet spoke poorly of the lead singer. His articulations were baseless."

"A Girl In London Two men in a bar. One says ""A girl I met in London gave me a sexually transmitted disease"". His mate replies ""you were lucky, in Yorkshire you would have had to pay for it!"""

"I have a dog with no legs. His name is Cigarette because I have to take him out for a drag."

"still waiting to see a used car commercial that looks like they cared enough to do more than one take."