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Joke of the Day

"I can only say nine English words. Well, shit."

"What kind of noodles do they eat in the hood? Spaghetto."

"My 7yo gave up a simple joke thats good enough 2 laugh at. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Cause it was stuck on the chicken's foot!"

"I went to the canary islands ... and believe it or not, I didn't see any canaries. I also went to the virgin islands, and believe it or not, I didn't see any canaries there either."

"My friend has canceled our lunch plans three days in a row. I'm starting to think she really doesn't like lunch."

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"Can Eddy cut a new hamster mane? No, but we're dailin' Tim as a Jew sits for my aunt."

"Santa isn't coming this year! Someone shot his Rudolph!"

"What's green and has wheels. A dolphin. I lied about the wheels. I also lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing."

"Stephen Hawking believes he's solved a huge mystery about black holes ...and he'll keep believing as long as we all play along, ok? He's adorable."