25946

Joke of the Day

"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."

"I'm trying to write a joke with the word ""cunt"" But I cunt."

"Here's a double entendre joke I made up Why do grump pedophiles like cats? They're assholes..."

"Phone Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond! Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!"

"What do you call a second hand gold necklace? Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)"

"I saw a beautiful pumpkin today... It was gourdeous."

"Why did Mario lose a life? He stubbed his MiyamoToe. ...I'll see my way out."

"There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group."

"true meaning of duck tape duck tape turns a no no no to a hmm hmm hmm"

"If you are single don't worry. Someone will come around shortly to totally fcuk that up."