87605

Joke of the Day

"Did you know 50% of Asians in America have cataracts? The other half drive Lincolns"

"I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move."

"Why are TVs attracted to people? Because people turn them on"

"I used to hate my tumor But it grew on me."

"Why did the dolphin get a fair trial? Because Habeas Porpoise."

"I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home."

"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength"

"I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial."

"Thanksgiving with the snail family I had the snail family from next door over for a big Thanksgiving dinner, they are still feeling sluggish this morning."

"Before Google, there was memory."