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Joke of the Day

"Before Google, there was memory."

"Are you from Iraq? Cause i wanna see you Baghdad ass up."

"Tomorrow I'm definitely going to start running, no matter how many days it takes!"

"Did you hear that the DMV is going make all stop signs bilingual for Spanish Speakers in 2014? It's not going to be too expensive, though, all they have to do is add the ""e"" to the front."

"What do you call a snake that works in the government? A civil serpent"

"I owe my life to Justin Beiber. I was in coma for two years, until one of the nurses played one of his songs on the radio in my room. I had to wake up to turn it off."

"It seems that Montana has found a new use for sheep . . . Wool"

"Took the family out for doughnuts They did not like having to give blood."

"What's the difference between your mom and your dad? Your dad still sucks dick."

"""Just dashing to the shops"" Woman [showers, washes hair, styles hair, puts on make up, chooses outfit, irons clothes] Man [grabs car keys]"