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Joke of the Day

"Why are TVs attracted to people? Because people turn them on"

"If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot."

"Why did the angry ant fall off the toilet seat? Because it was pissed off."

"What does Donald have up his sleeve? A Trump card."

"If you're going to have a beer with Russian's You better Czech yourself before you wreck yourself. Edit:FUCK I JUST REALIZED HOW BAD THIS JOKE IS"

"In or On ? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?"

"That boy is so dirty the only time he washes his ears is when he eats watermelon."

"If all the girls who went to my high school prom were laid end to end... It wouldn't surprise me at all."

"Did you hear about the guy who thought he performed brain surgery on himself? Turned out, it was all in his head."

"*Stands in wood & sets self on fire* ""OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"" I want to look hot on tinder."