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Joke of the Day

"An inmate from a mental asylum escaped and started raping people. The next day headlines read : Nut bolts and screws."

"Why did Bill and Ted join Islam? Because they heard it was radical!"

"weed is a gateway drug. *opens gate* Welcome To CoolFunLand"

"What's the difference between a computer program and global warming? One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!"

"A friend of mine told me she worked as a prostitue for a while... I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by the fuzz. She hadn't, but she said she'd once been swung round by the tits."

"Q: Why were screams coming from the kitchen? A: The cook was beating the eggs."

"Why did black beard kill his first mate? He kept singing, ""your ho, your ho, a pirate's wife for me"""

"Currently, the Olympic host country has... One brazillian medals."

"How many votes does it take to change a light bulb? Votes don't change shit."

"Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules... ...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend."