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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bill and Ted join Islam? Because they heard it was radical!"

"So my friend and I were playing chess. I said ""why don't we make this interesting"" so we stopped playing. Credit - I can't remember which comedian I stole this off but i am sure reddit will know"

"school sucks 2/10 stars would not recommend"

"I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,""I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."""

"A priest and a rabbi are sitting on a park bench... when a little boy, around 9 years old passes them by. ""Wanna fuck him?"" asks the priest. ""Out of what?"" the rabbi replies."

"A Canibal realized his meal was undercooked. So he threw up his hands in frustration"

"Only when a mosquito lands on your balls do you realize That violence is not always the option"

"I was at the confessional booth the other day and I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating He said ""Sure, If it bothers you, I'll stop""."

"*pounding on her chest* DON'T DIE ON ME KAREN! *pounds harder* (sobbing) BREATHE DAMMIT! CPR instructor: Ok, so that was wrong."

"I'm pitching a prison dating show called 'America's Next Top Bottom'"