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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a computer program and global warming? One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!"

"Do you know what you call a nickle and a penny? The Sixth Cents"

"Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport? Because he was Snowden..."

"When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven."

"I've been sleeping with my maid for the past 3 years. Just don't tell me wife, she hates it when I call her that."

"A woman walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her."

"Me ""Hey honey, I got hurt at work, Donna brought me to the hospital and the Doctors are trying to save my leg."" Her ""Who's Donna??"""

"I'll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I'm trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks"

"No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse."

"You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person"