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Joke of the Day

"How did the scarecrow win a noble prize? He was *out standing* in his field."

"""Your GPA last semester was a 4.0"" \- Steve Harvey"

"Hey are you from Gryfindor? Great. Can I Slytherin?"

"A woman just dropped a 10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?', so I turned it into wine. I bought wine."

"If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say... Orange is the new Black. Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to."

"Your mom takes so much dicks that the word cocktail was invented for her"

"How does Snoop Dogg get revenge? Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies."

"I ate an optimist once.. but I couldn't keep him down!"

"How do you turn soup into gold? You add 24 carats!"

"Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman"