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Joke of the Day

"""It's okay, little buddy. Mommy cries when her bottle is empty, too."""

"What do you say to someone who doesn't like Rick & Morty? I'm going to need you to take your opinions and put'em wayyy up inside your butthole."

"Someone asked a man who had been married for 20 years Q: What did you do before you were married sir? A: *with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do ..."

"Facebook would be way cooler if it was on TV. : ""In other news Brian's ex-girlfriend is still a cold, heartless b!tch. Details at 11""."

"How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY"

"Why didn't George RR Martin (GOT author) use Twitter? Because he killed all the 140 characters."

"A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon."

"I went to the zoo this past weekend. The only animal they had was a dog... it was a shih tzu."

"What type of porn do vampires watch? Fangbang."

"I took my Biology exam last Friday I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently ""Blacks"" and ""Mexicans"" were NOT the correct answers."