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Joke of the Day
"Why was Michael Jackson always late for meetings? Because he was always coming in a little behind."
Next Joke
"I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples..."
"6yo: ONCE I HAVE CHEST HAIR I'LL BE A MAN & THEN LADIES CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE Husband: *dies laughing*"
"Don't buy drinks from children on the side of the road. The money never really goes to aid for lemons."
"[very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second"
"I have to be honest, I prefer the modern 8 bit byte to the older 7 bit byte I like big bytes and I cannot lie."
"Most of my family has diarrhea it runs in our jeans"
"Asians are bad drivers cuz they're used to riding pandas while eating rice is that racist enough for you dad I'm sorry I wasn't in the war"
"What's the difference between smoking weed and burning the koran? If you burn the koran, you can only get stoned once."
"I don't love being single but I do love being happy."