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Joke of the Day

"I eat sunflower seeds because I like food but I absolutely love littering"

"Try to think of a world without hypotheticals. You can't."

"I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up."

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"Whenever I'm bored, I call one of my parents and ask them to describe how the internet works."

"Where do they make satis? In a satisfactory"

"Dad Joke: Help! There's a letter coming out of the water! It's an emerging 'C'."

"Today, I've been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze."

"I like my coffee how I like my life Once thrilling, but now a mundane daily ritual that has me questioning what I ever found enjoyable about it to begin with."

"What do you call a gay Jew? A he-blew."