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Joke of the Day

"I don't have a pet so I decided to adopt the spider living in the corner of my kitchen. Her name is Monique. I hope she isn't knocked up."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane for a living? A pilot you fucking racist!"

"If my mouth could get pregnant, an entire box of fudge-pops would be taking paternity tests."

"Welcome to AlzheimersAware.co.uk. Forgot your password? Of course you did."

"Never trust a big butt and a smile. Where is the rest of this woman's body?"

"Did you hear about the musician that was put on death row? It's said that he is gonna be exefluted."

"My 13 yo niece is ""experimenting with alcohol"" according to my dad. Like she's keeping a ledger of her findings. ""12/21/09: Scotch. Woo!"""

"What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on? ""Spraint your ankle!"" Just in case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spraint"

"Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs."

"I visited you every day in hospital when you were in a coma. They gave me free wifi & coffee, It was the best 2 months of our married life"