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Joke of the Day

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Don't get me started"

"Let's play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game Whenever your girlfriend goes to the bathroom take a shot"

"What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw."

"What's the difference between England and a teabag? The teabag stays in the cup longer."

"Casual sex is like a math equation... You add the bed, subtract your cloths, divide your legs, and hope you don't multiply"

"Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet."

"Excuse me, here's your nose. I found it in my business."

"what's the difference between an old greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 36B breasts? one's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean"

"Wanna hear a joke? Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay's man house knock knock you: who's there? the chicken."