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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gay Jew? A he-blew."

"What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"What are you doing? I'm trying to call Washington! Oh haven't you heard? He's dead!"

"Me: Just a glass of water Scientist waiter: You mean a glass of... yourself? You see, the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it"

"(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies? I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in"

"I asked my hairdresser to take a little bit off. I just really want to see her tits."

"Both my son and daughter love reddit. That must mean it's heredditary."

"Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be reincarnated as a stud? He woke up on a snow tire in Michigan."

"Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher: Of course not Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework"

"I take issue with people stealing magazines."