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Joke of the Day
"How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake."
Next Joke
"Why does Michael Jackson like 26 year Olds? Because there are twenty of them."
"Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL."
"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself."
"Knock Knock Knock, Knock. Who's there? Horton. Horton, who? Horton Hears A Who."
"Me: I'm in the mood for dessert *winks at wife* [2 hours later] Wife: *in lingerie, texts* WHERE R U Me: *texts* Getting ice cream. Y?"
"Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered? Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are."
"How much credibility is there in that whole ""you can punch yourself handsome"" theory? Asking for a friend."
"What do identical stars do? Twin-kle"
"What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless."