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Joke of the Day

"Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL."

"Where is the best place to hide something? On the second page of Google search results."

"How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is."

"""Be there in 5."" - liars"

"How do feminists get away with murder? They won't let anyone finger them."

"Doctor, can you have a look at my penis... Doctor: I don't see anything wrong with it? I know it's magnificent isn't it?"

"What do Godzilla and shrimp have in common? They both crustaceans"

"I can sum up my taste in music and my political and religious beliefs in just a few bumper stickers."

"What is Dracula's pornstar name? Vlad the Impaler"

"What do you call 100 lesbians with assault rifles? Militia Etheridge"