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Joke of the Day

"What do identical stars do? Twin-kle"

"What's the official title for the Poopsmith's boss? We feel like we have the best two answers, and there's disagreement over who's is best."

"I asked my date if she'd ever done drugs. ""No,"" she said, taking a sip of her water. I said, ""Well, you have now."""

"How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'"

"A couple of my friends tried to steal a statue last night... But it turned out to be a bust."

"""Every child's a gift."" ""Your 'gift' is eating his own boogers right now."" ""..."" ""I hope you saved the receipt."""

"Mirror Inspector When I think about it, inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing."

"Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with? Because they pikachu"

"What do you call a rough Italian neighborhood? A Spaghetto"

"Never trust an atom. Actually, it's probably fine. They only make up about 4% of everything."