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Joke of the Day

"What do identical stars do? Twin-kle"

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"What does a Japanese man experience when he marries a Jewish woman? marital bris"
"Billy and his dad. Billy's dad walks into his room and says ""Billy, if you don't stop masturbating you're going to go blind."" To which Billy replies, ""Hey Dad, I'm over here!"""
"That awkward moment when twins realize that one of them was not planned"
"MOUTH BUT NO TEETH RIDDLE Q: What has a mouth but no teeth? A: A river."
"Where does an octopus go to buy shoes? Inke"
"Saw a guy in the gym, ahead of me on the Lat pulldown machine, wearing a David Luiz T-Shirt Needless to say, I got past him."
"A man comes to the infodesk in a mall And says: ""Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"" ""Oh, sure"" The man leans towards the mike: ""I'm vegan"""
"Me: Why is gay marriage such an issue now-a-days? Friend: Because people are FUCKING ASSHOLES! This can be taken in two ways and both are correct."
"It was Christmastime, and everybody was feeling Merry. So she went home."