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Joke of the Day

"How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself."

"What happens when you drop a piano in a mine? A Flat Minor"

"Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive."

"Once, in 2006, I stayed off the internet for an entire 19 minutes."

"This wrinkle cream made my balls look like some weird balloon animal."

"Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects? They were looking for the ark tick."

"Last night I slept for 8 hours straight, and then for 2 hours gay."

"What do Native American pubescent hipsters who would like to join a group often say? Clandestine."

"""I'm proud of all the Twitter followers you've accumulated."" - none of our parents"

"I used to be addicted to soap... but now I'm clean."