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Joke of the Day

"My car is probably the most expensive bird toilet I own."

"How do you know if you are a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood"

"Where did little Lisa go after she got hit by a truck? Everywhere."

"What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church? Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass. hey-yo!"

"ME: Not gonna make it in today. I hurt my updog. BOSS: What's updog? ME: Nothing much, prolly just gonna take a nap."

"Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him."

"Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from Creed songs."

"What happens when the fog clears in California? UCLA"

"I'm at my most insecure when asked if I want to save changes made to a document when I am sure I did not make any changes at all."