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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the fight between Haydn and Beethoven? You didn't? Neither did Beethoven."

"What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most? A space bar."

"I don't talk about my ex's because I like to start of with a clean slate. That, and they're dead to me. Well, to everyone, but mostly me."

"Boy: Have u ever been fishing before Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!"

"I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent."

"Italian Guy with a problem What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment :)"

"What do you call 1000 aches? A *kilohurtz*."

"Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers? Admission now costs an arm and a leg!"

"British Airways. Breakfast in London. Dinner in New York. Luggage in Tokyo."

"Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed"