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Joke of the Day
"I speak Swedish with an Ikea accent."
Next Joke
"Made out with a milf in the theatre last weekend... Although the movie was pretty well ruined with little Timmy talking through the whole thing."
"How does a nun lose her virginity? Dresses up as an altar boy"
"A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar... And the bartender asks, ""What'll ya have, Mr. President?"""
"Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info."
"What has 52 teeth and can hold back the incredible Hulk? My Zipper"
"2 integrals are working out at the gym One asks the other 'What are you doing today?' 2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure?' 2: 'I'm definite'."
"Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free."
"Why do Buddhist monks have such sour faces? Because they're acetic."
"McD's drive thru: Welcome back. Me: Welcome back? That's pretty presumptuous. MDT: ... M: ... MDT: The usual? Me: Yeah. Thanks Brenda."