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Joke of the Day

"I don't watch wedding shows and get excited about getting married but I do watch Dateline and get excited about being murdered."

"My wife came home with a duck under her arm... ""This is the pig I've been fucking"" she said ""That is a duck, not a pig"" I replied ""I'm not talking to you"""

"What's the difference between a well dressed man and a tired dog? The man wears a full suit, the dog just pants"

"How many dead hooker's in your basement does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 4"

"Teacher: Where is the English Channel? Student: I don't know, my tv doesn't pick it up"

"The problem in general terms is that people suck."

"[Warning a bit racist joke] What do you say to a black guy in a suit ? Will the defendant please rise !"

"Why is the Ocean Salty? Because the Beach didn't wave back."

"[college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?"

"How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 or 2. Now 1... or 2."