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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to start rubbing myself up against people when they've got nice food. If it works for my cat, it'll work for me."

"I'm trying to write a racist joke, but... Everything I come up with is borderline offensive."

"""Women are crazy!"" ""Did one try to murder you unprovoked?"" ""No I just disappeared from her life with no notice & she went all PSYCHO on me."""

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."

"What did the cholo say when the houses fell on him? 'ey, get off me homes!"

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One."

"Did you hear what happened to the blind circumcision doctor? He got the sack.."

"I want to make a joke about screamo music... But there was no rhyme or reason to it."

"They say travel broadens the mind... Except for Americans, where it just seems to widen the arse (Jimmy Carr)"

"If you don't sit down to a nice big plate of breakfast for dinner once in a while, you're missing out on one of the best things in life."