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Joke of the Day

"Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school."

"What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas? Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!"

"My face is very symmetrical...over the x-axis :("

"Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower"

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds funny. Dozen tit."

"I work as a waiter. The pay isn't great but I put food on the table."

"Hungry? The hell with a snickers. Look to her cleavage, you'll find at least two snacks there and maybe some stray popcorn."

"What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore? Because that I totally get."

"Yo mama is so fat, when the judge said ""order"", she order a milkshake, cheeseburger, and fries."

"Two aliens sitting in a bar... The first looks at the second and says ""bleep loop do dooee day baaarrggg"" The second looks ask at the first a d says ""shut up frank, you're drunk"""