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Joke of the Day
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."
Next Joke
"A horse walks into a Police Station. Not a joke it actually happened http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834 I would welcome a few jokes based upon this though."
"*accidentally answers phone call* *pretends to be answering machine*"
"Oscar If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now."
"What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene? A flossiraptor"
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know why"
"Be sure you are standing on your left foot and only your left foot at midnight tonight... ...so that you start the new year off on the right foot!"
"Why do dwarfs laugh will running ? Because the grass tickles their balls !!"
"Me and my new girlfriend are both scientists, archaeologists to be exact... .. we're carbon, dating."
"What do you call a Beatles fan who happens to be a Chinese sadomasochistic member of the American Army? Yellow Submarine"