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Joke of the Day

"*accidentally answers phone call* *pretends to be answering machine*"

Next Joke
 
"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."
"The other day I managed to start my computer up with the touch of a random button I guess you could call it F8"
"Ear sex is dangerous... ...it fucks with your head"
"What do you call a female deer that hangs out outside of a pickle factory? A dill-doe"
"What happens when the Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises."
"My wife and I are walking through Central Park and pointing out all of the places that we remember seeing dead bodies on Law & Order."
"I have the Anne Hathaway ""It came true!"" reaction whenever the guy at Subway hands me my sandwich."
"I think I put the roofie in the wrong driiiiiiiiiiiiiii"
"An amazing talking dog"