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Joke of the Day

"Clark Kent: How's your lunch? Bruce Wayne: This soup is great. CK: don't BW: You could even say CK: please don't BW: It's Souper, man"

"My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell ""ARF, ARF"" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth"

"How often does the vampire go down on his wife? Periodically"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don't scream when they are put in the oven!"

"I've been hearing a lot about mass murderers lately.... It must be a scary time to be catholic."

"Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Padre: What is your sin, my child? Me: Twitter. Padre: Wow, if I had a nickel for every time . . ."

"It turns out ""Flasher"" wasn't one of the reindeer and I'm being asked to leave this holiday party."

"Every time I drive by a church my Praydar goes fucking ballistic."

"How do windmills feel about renewable energy? They're pretty big fans"

"I like my women like I like my Chinese chemical storage facilities Ready to blow at any minute"