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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital? The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!"

"A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert."

"You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"got a meat lover's pizza with the Works: freckles, man curds, leeches, clam clits, jowls, blood clots, charred nuggets, gristle, Megan"

"Did you hear about the prostitute with an MBA? She was a business anal-ist."

"Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service."

"And the final rule of Fight Club is... ...just have fun and try your best."

"Vladimir Putin was recently late to a meeting He was really Russian"

"There's a doctor here to see you. Doctor who? No, I think it's a non time traveling one."

"Tried Turkish food today... It was revolting"