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Joke of the Day

"You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A RIP OFF!!!"

"Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister: Have you ever seen a dead body? *casually lifts shirt to expose .357*"

"Blanket on: too hot, Blanket off: too cold, 1 leg out: perfect, until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it & drags you down the hall."

"Jokes are like food... Not everyone gets it."

"Guys are all, ""Wanna go to my bachelor party?"" because asking, ""Wanna hang out in a room and get boners together?"" would be gross."

"People with eyebrow, nose, and lip piercings always look like they landed face-first into a tackle box."

"I asked my friend from New Zealand how many times he'd had sex... but he fell asleep before he could tell me."

"You hear about all of these refugees? Sounds like a Syria's problem."

"What's the difference between a baby and a feminist? I don't want to punch the baby in the fucking face."