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Joke of the Day

"Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF"

"[10 PM] If I go to bed now, I'll get a full 8 hours of sleep [3AM] Siri what is a grape nut"

"What do we want? -SHITTY MUSIC COMPILATIONS! When do we want them? -NOW! THAT'S WHAT I CALL MUSIC"

"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""

"How does Hitler like his orange juice? Freshly squeezed."

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

"Whats you favorite Christmas joke? I know this is an unorthodox post, but, I would love to hear your favorites!"

"I would literally never feel confident enough to drop a piece of equipment as expensive as a mic."

"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"

"Meanwhile on Google+"