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Joke of the Day

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

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"How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, and a really big lightbulb."
"Life is like a toilet paper... You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."
"I got a job crushing cans... ...It's soda pressing..."
"wife: What would you do if 9 told you he was gay? me [looking for the remote] Ask him if he's seen the remote"
"Q. What does Kodak film and Condoms have in common? A. Both are made to capture special moments."
"Shake what your momma gave you. *shakes unemployed brother*"
"Are you a solution of bismuth technetium hydride with a pH of 14? Because you're one basic BiTcH"
"I tried to make friends at a midget convention by telling some jokes But all my material went over their heads."
"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"