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Joke of the Day
"[10 PM] If I go to bed now, I'll get a full 8 hours of sleep [3AM] Siri what is a grape nut"
Next Joke
"[looks up from laptop while updating resume] son, you're good with computers ""I'm alright"" how do I find pictures of mean looking dinosaurs?"
"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why."
"Aristotle said we are what we repeatedly do. Therefore, I am your mother."
"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? *denim* *denim* *denim*"
"What do you call it when a really large number marries a small number? A Ranged Marriage"
"My wife bought a new plant for for the house. I didn't like it at first... ...but it's starting to grow on me."
"How bout a fortune cookie that tells you not to take advice from shitty dessert."
"The debate should just be held here The joke should be in the comments"
"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."