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Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Hobbit director Peter Jackson's next huge undertaking to be 3-part movie series of The Cheesecake Factory menu."

"I've been happily married for four years out of a total of 10."

"What do people hate about CEOs of big internet companies? They act too paowerful"

"Lactose Joke (^_^) Soy milk is actually just milk that speaks only Spanish."

"so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised!"

"Yesterday CNN reported that ""sitting will kill you, even if you exercise"" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you."

"Don'tcha wish your g/f was fun like me? *plays Twister* Don'tcha wish your g/f was a freak like me? *regurgitates a jellyfish* Don'tcha...?"

"I lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ahmed ! Ahmed who ? Ahmed a big mistake coming here !"

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Unless it's diabetes medicine."