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Joke of the Day

"Sar-Chasm (noun) When you're joking, but everyone thinks you're being serious, you've fallen into the sar-chasm."

"How depressed are you on a scale from 1 to ""regularly visits song lyrics websites""?"

"If you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're... Your a moron."

"I have a crush on a girl with a lazy eye But she won't even look at me.."

"The awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's and can't do i"

"Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars... And then I wondered, Where the fuck did my roof go?"

"I'm going to say sky diving is probably not for me since I just screamed when the toilet seat shifted."

"Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will."

"Procrastinators Unite! Tomorrow"

"I won't get a girl pregnant because I only have sex at night, when my sperm is asleep."