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Joke of the Day

"In the middle east its hard to tell who's crazy, And Hussein."

"I sleep less, I'm tired. I sleep more, I'm tired. Life is impossible."

"Facebook needs a button that's the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves."

"I like to imagine the person who originated Head & Shoulders shampoo had really, really hairy shoulders."

"What is a NYC nanosecond? If you are stuck at a red light, its the time that it takes for the occupant of the car behind you to honk his horn when the light turns green."

"How do you call 8 Hobbits? A Hobbyte"

"I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed."

"How do rhinos like their eggs? Poached."

"Me: ""You didn't tell me that."" Them: ""Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone."" Me (looks up): ""I'm sorry, what?"""

"Sarah Jessica Parker? Horse."