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Joke of the Day

"Facebook needs a button that's the equivalent of kicking someone under the table to stop them from making a fool of themselves."

"Did you hear that Donald Trump's wife doesn't want him to run for president? She says she doesn't want to move into a smaller house."

"Did you hear about the vegan what converted their car to run run on herbs? They wanted to thyme travel!"

"What did the duck say when he bought the chap-stick? Put it on my bill."

"I hate when someone texts me cause then I can't post anything on the internet or they'll know I'm ignoring them."

"Cry Baby - by Liza Weeping"

"what do you call 10 rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline"

"Dear Diary, men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do that with pizza."

"The thing about blind prostitutes... You gotta hand it to em'"

"I put some condoms down at the till and the cashier smiled. ""Getting lucky tonight?"" she asked. I said, ""If I'm really getting lucky, I won't be needing them."""