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Joke of the Day

"How often do I think about Keira? Knightley."

"Know what stops the Bern? Preparation H!"

"What did Helen Keller's friend say to her? (offensive) You should try blind dating."

"While there's a motherboard, why isn't there a fatherboard? Well I don't know, but I do know my professor recently installed a new blackboard, hopefully he'll use that to explain the answer."

"What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words? That you **had** to fart."

"What do politicians and diapers have in common? Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reasons."

"I just used 'medieval' and 'archaic' in a text message. I know people, I don't get how I'm not still a virgin either."

"A man walks into a bar... Ouch!"

"I don't know about you guys, but I think Jesus would definitely have had a hard time paying for my sins on a carpenters salary."

"Why was Nancy always on top when the Reagans made love? Ronald Reagan always fucked up."