219777

Joke of the Day

"I just used 'medieval' and 'archaic' in a text message. I know people, I don't get how I'm not still a virgin either."

"What is E.T. short for? So he can fit into his spaceship."

"Have you heard about Trumps revision of Obama phones? You'll be able to trade them in for a alarm clock and job application."

"How do you know Moby Dick was a gay whale? Because he was trying to swallow the sea men..."

"Today was my first day in University Everyone look me like i am a criminal or prey."

"Why was the Egyptian boy confused? Because his daddy was a mummy"

"Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Blurgblurgblurg"

"The Wind is a Force So when I pass gas i must be using the Force."

"As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone... ...making it a weapon of mass reduction."