85301

Joke of the Day

"My April Fools day joke blew up in my face. I threatened divorce. My wife agreed."

"I went to a Halloween party where everyone was dressed like a sore thumb Not me, no, I stuck out like a vicar."

"Him: I won't bore you with the details. Me: Too late for that."

"Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being."

"9: What are you going to be for Halloween dad? me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be? me: Mad"

"Why didn't the rat go to college? It gotten eaten by the bear...and bears don't go to college."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? You wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on your face."

"Question AND Answar Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any."

"What system do they teach in Hamburger High's math courses? The meatric system silly!"

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""