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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? You wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on your face."

"What is it called when a gangster kills his friend? A Homie-cide"

"What's the world's sexiest phone number extension? 6969"

"I once applied for a job to work as a blacksmith.... The blacksmith asked me if I'd ever shooed a horse. I said ""no, but I once told a donkey to piss off."""

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"

"What was Bob Marley's favourite font? Sans Sheriff!"

"Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don't even worry about buying the bow."

"Q: How do convicts get drugs while they're in prison? A: Some asshole brings 'em in."

"The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry."

"*Buys bat for home security *it flies away Being dumb is hard."