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Joke of the Day

"What system do they teach in Hamburger High's math courses? The meatric system silly!"

"What do you call Neil DeGrasse Tyson with champagne poured over his chest? An Astro-fizzy-tits."

"(Season 4 spoilers ) Why did a cock named Oberyn Martell kill the KFC cook? ""You raped her! ! You murdered her! ! You killed her children! !"

"You know you're good when they have to add an amendment to the company handbook cause they never thought anyone would do what you did"

"Old bankers never die... ...They just lose interest."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I hate people that can't tell the difference between ""you're"" and ""your"" their so stupid"

"Who is the most basic Spice Girl? Pumpkin Spice."

"If the Trader Joe's cashier doesn't say ""I love these"" about anything you're buying, you have to put it all back and start over. #sorrybro"

"Where did George Washington keep his Armies? In his sleevies."