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Joke of the Day

"Celebrity divorce statements remind us of the names they gave their kids. ""We want to focus on raising our children, Shoe and Turbo Pickle."""

"What do you call a sick Pokemon? Pikachoo"

"Happy Valentine's day! Do you know what the word of the day is? Legs!.....Should we go back to my place and spread the word?"

"how to hot dogs: 1) ""read"" hot dogs instructions 2) place 5 to 60 hot dogs in warm microwave or sink 3) add 1 piece of ketchup 4( drink"

"Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended."

"How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!"

"Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry these are things we actually worry about now"

"A speedo is just a man's way of saying ""not today girls""."

"A magnet walks into a bar...., what does he order? Nothing... he's still stuck to the entrance."

"In the spirit of bipartisanship and cooperation, I think Trump should offer Hillary Clinton an important role in his administration... Like the ambassadorship to Libya"