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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game? He got suspended."

"Love yourself, just don't do it in public. There are laws against that type of behavior."

"What's cooler than Obama? Snowbama"

"I installed some new Humbuckers on my guitar. Now the ladies call me a pickup artist."

"I asked my girlfriend for directions while she was giving me head she looked up and said..""You need to get off in 2 kilometers"""

"[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE"

"What's the difference between a joke and hundred of penises Seriously I can't take this joke anymore"

"[Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples."

"Its been so long since I've had sex, my next time can't possibly be bad. For my partner, however, its guaranteed."

"Did you hear about the man who died of a viagra overdose? They couldn't close his coffin."