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Joke of the Day

"My friend just launched the second hubble into space... A hubble bubble."

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"Why did 10 go missing? Because 9/11."
"Do you know where there are only 239 beans in and Irish bean stew? Because if there was one more, it'd be too farty."
"What's worst than fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring inside."
"What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable? putting them back in the wheelchair"
"How heavy is a hipster? One thousand instagrams"
"*rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems..."
"What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender"
"Is it a rule now that Betty White has to be in everything? Because she is simply ruining this porn for me."
"One thing books from 100 years ago teach us is that if you leave a baby in the jungle, it'll be fine. Better than fine, actually."