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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the famous astronomer whose observations were the foundation of Kelper's great works. Typo Brahe."

"Man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac.... He said "" can i have a drink and one for the road"""

"Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions."

"Your best ""Your pussy's so..."" Your pussy's so wrinkled I mistook it for an antique coin purse."

"My crazy great Grandma My Great Grandma is 104, and she said to me: ""If the good die young, I MUST BE TERRIBLE"""

"Your mother is so fat... ...even whilst fucking her it feels like a long-distance relationship."

"I heard it was medically impossible for a quack doctor to make me straight But my chiropractor managed to realign my spine. He was kinda cute too."

"""Write this down."" [Moses grabs tablet] ""Thou shalt not steal [raises eyebrow] where did you get that tablet from?"""

"There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi"

"I was searching for the end of the line. I tap a guy on the shoulder and ask, ""excuse me sir, are you the last person in line?"" Dude turns around, looks at me funny and goes, ""no, you are."""