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Joke of the Day

"There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi"

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"Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age."
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"Cop: Will I find any drugs in your car? Me: I don't know but if you do, I'm not sharing."
"When a woman says, ""I'm NOT crazy"" *clapping her palms together per syllable* That's universal for, ""You're going to die."""
"What did the right breast say to the left breast in the mirror? You look like a right tit in that."
"I met the donkey from Numbers 22... He was a pretty cool guy... What? Did you expect him to be an ass?"
"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."